I think the tension's finally going to give way to an explosion.
All along I've cramped this awe-inspiring vision of using music as a medium for the only world-changing thing a Christian should know (God's love) into pretty manageable, bite-sized, chewable bits like lead-worshipping, prayer, uploading encouraging videos and performing for friends. Okay.
But I'm tired. Tired of singing for people's entertainment. Tired of pleasing others. Tired of convincing myself that that's all God's wonderful gift on me can go. There's an unmistakable passion deep inside that's yearning to see people more than touched, but changed and driven to action. Music's pretty pointless if all it does is leave a thought or two, or a bunch of people clapping and moving on like nothing's changed or nothing needs to be changed.
My heart goes out to the poor and suffering (injustly), those hungry for a sure hope, and those who already have found their secure hope in Christ but are denied the rights to Christian faith and worship. These are things the world shoves under the carpet, behind the curtains and every other possible place to hide it. But the light of God's love unveils all.
Already I can see in my mind the faces of familiars shaking at me in bewilderment. What would make a prospective law student who's done reasonably well academically, living a comfortable life, and sticking with a respectable group of friends give himself for the least of these? Nobodies? Forgettables?
Try God's Love. In His eyes, everybody is somebody to Him. No one is forgettable.
I'm SICK of Singaporean comforts. Comfort dulls out the cries of people around the world for different needs (yes, needs, not wants) and leaves us thinking it'll be too much trouble even to find out more about the plight of these people.
I really don't want to live like I don't care.
I really don't want to say another empty prayer.
Tell me what to do, God. What to do.
Because I refuse to watch and do nothing.